You’ve been looking forward to it for weeks — your child’s birthday, a family celebration, or perhaps just a simple weekend outing you’ve planned with love and care. But somehow, again, it’s overshadowed. Tension builds, tempers flare, or someone else manages to make it about them. Sound familiar?
If you’re co-parenting after separation or navigating a high-conflict family dynamic, you’re not alone in feeling like your joy is constantly being hijacked. But why does it keep happening?
It’s Not About the Moment — It’s About the Power
In many high-conflict parenting situations, one parent may feel the need to remain in control — even after separation. Special occasions can become power battlegrounds, with one parent undermining the other’s plans, changing arrangements at the last minute, or even causing drama on the day.
It’s rarely about the event itself. It’s about control, attention, or maintaining emotional dominance.
Communication Breakdowns Amplify Conflict
Often, the lack of clear and respectful communication leads to assumptions, confusion, and disappointment. When one party feels excluded or sidelined, they may lash out — even if it means spoiling the moment for everyone, including the children.
Parenting Coordination helps by putting structures in place, ensuring both parents know what’s happening and when — reducing miscommunication and setting expectations.
Unresolved Emotions Run the Show
Hurt, resentment, and grief don’t just vanish after a court order or parenting plan is signed. For many, special occasions trigger past pain. Your joy can unintentionally become someone else’s reminder of loss.
In these cases, mediation or therapeutic support can be invaluable — helping individuals move past emotional entanglements so they don’t spill over into your child’s milestones.
Your Child Notices — Even When You Think They Don’t
Children are incredibly perceptive. When conflict taints what should be a joyful moment, they carry that memory with them. What was meant to be a birthday party becomes remembered as “the day Mum and Dad fought again.”
Your ability to shield them from this pattern is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
So, What Can You Do?
✔️ Set clear boundaries.
✔️ Stick to agreed plans and keep communication civil.
✔️ Use professionals such as Parenting Coordinators or Mediators to step in when needed.
✔️ Stay child-focused — always.
You deserve to celebrate the beautiful moments in your life without disruption. More importantly, your children deserve to create joyful memories free from conflict.
If you’re tired of having your moments hijacked, we’re here to help. At Parenting Coordination & Mediation Services, we work with families across Northern NSW to reduce conflict, support smoother communication, and bring calm to even the stormiest dynamics.
Because your special moments should stay special.
